1 episode. Approx. 61 minutes. Written by: Neil Gaiman. Performed by: Peter Kenny.
THE PLOT
Leadworth, 1984: Reg Browning is naturally suspicious when a figure wearing a rabbit mask appears at the door of his modest home, offering to buy the house for several times what it is worth. But the cash "Mr. Rabbit" offers is real, the contract legitimate, and the deal simply too good to pass up. So he sells, and agrees to have his family and their possessions cleared out by the weekend.
Leadworth, 2010: The TARDIS materializes outside Amy Pond's house, the Doctor returning her in time for her wedding. But as soon as the door opens, both realize that something is wrong. It's simply too quiet. Then Amy hears a voice in her head, informing her that this planet is property of the Kin, that it was taken over entirely legally, and that the human race has died out of natural causes. History has been rewritten. The point of divergence? Leadworth, 1984.
When they arrive in that year, they discover that strange things are happening in Leadworth. Realty offices are closing, because there is nothing for sale - Everything has sold. The hotels are full, and people are camping out at the edge of town while searching for places to move. A very slow, entirely legal takeover is occurring. The Kin have started with Leadworth, and will very quickly occupy the entire planet Earth - And that is just the beginning!
CHARACTERS
The Doctor: This story was penned by Neil Gaiman, who wrote two stories for Matt Smith's Doctor on television. One of those stories was outstanding, the other disappointing, but both featured strong material for the Eleventh Doctor. Little surprise, then, that Gaiman captures this incarnation so thoroughly. Gaiman's prose describes this Doctor as "all elbows" and observes how he will adjust his bowtie to either perfectly level or at a rakish angle. He also likes to use vague descriptions in place of even the most basic nouns; he seems genuinely pleased when Amy tells him that the "table-y thing in the corner" is an actual table. It seems his mind races around as awkwardly as his gangly body, scattered and all over the place... Which makes it all the more dramatic when he focuses completely at the end, his final pronouncement to the Kin very much that of a judge reading out a particularly severe sentence.
Amy: When asked about her parents, she gives an answer that's glib and evasive without even being aware of doing so. Her propensity for processing concepts quickly is shown when, after determining that the voice in her head is unaware of the Doctor, she shuts the TARDIS door before telling him all. Her faith in the Doctor is unshakable, and when the Kin tell her that he has abandoned her, she refuses to believe it.
THOUGHTS
Nothing O'Clock is Neil Gaiman's contribution to Penguin's 11 Doctors, 11 Stories anthology, and it is enormous fun. The literary voice is instantly recognizable as Gaiman, with a narrative that shifts from whimsy to doom-laden at various points. The masked Kin, who ask to be referred to according to their masks ("Mr. Rabbit" or "Mr. Wolf," for example) have a dark fantasy quality that feels like it could easily have come out of Gaiman's Sandman series. At the same time, they are an excellent fit with the fairy tale atmosphere of Series Five, in which the story is set.
The audio version runs a full hour, and it goes by in an eyeblink. The prose lends itself to an audio reading, and performer Peter Kenny does a wonderful job bringing the story to life. I particularly enjoyed his voice for the Kin, a mix of the ominous and the formal that fits these villains perfectly. Kenny's Doctor is also strong, with him capturing the enthusiasm of Matt Smith's performance. His Amy is fairly generic, but is good enough to pass muster - and female characters are so regularly a challenge for male narrators, that it's a very easy shortcoming to forgive.
The method of alien invasion is clever and suitably insidious, from an innocuous beginning to something truly devastating by the time the Kin lays out its long-term plans for humanity. There's an effective, frightening bit involving the Browning's overly-curious young daughter, and the Kin themselves are effective at every turn.
For most of the story's run, I was leaning toward a "9." But it does falter just a bit at the end, with the Doctor's method of thwarting the Kin a little too clearly telegraphed. Since we see the Doctor's trap too clearly, too quickly, we don't get the sense of him pulling victory out of defeat. Really, it feels more like the Kin are struck stupid for not noticing that he's up to something.
Even with minor issues at the end, this remains a terrific little story. Great fun, well worth taking the time either read or listen.
Overall Rating: 8/10.
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